The journey: How to tell that you're NOT enjoying the ride?

-
BEFORE READING THIS POST

GO WATCH 

"THE GOOD PLACE"

ON NETFLIX.

Easy clues that you hate your life:
1. You have a toxic relationship (or more than one).
2. You hate your work.
3. You're bored.
4. You complain all the time.

(Linked article that I liked while researching content:
https://www.joe.ie/life-style/signs-that-you-hate-your-job-so-much-that-you-need-a-get-out-now-538865)

Yeah, yeah, we know.
And there are a bunch of articles and stuff about that so I won't get into it. I don't want to talk about hating your life. It's shit, it's hard, but it's not so hard to notice.

I want to talk about NOT loving it.

Watching "The good place", the point is how torture works. They shaped horrible things to particularly turn heaven into hell for one person but managing to make it seem like heaven and I thought "Do I have things like that? Do I live life thinking this is a good life while I'm actually suffering?"
Is there something in my life that I don't hate, but I don't really like, or I don't really want to do, and still, somehow, I do it? Why? Peer pressure, expectation, fear.

So, when I started noticing those things: "WOOOOW, crazy shit." It's actually a common thing that I do every single day.
We are so damn afraid of appearing ungrateful that we just accept shit. Constantly. We don't like people thinking we aren't happy. We like to pretend we enjoy our lives, so we fake it. We just go "meh, yeah, it's not that bad." and we settle. And if you do it long enough you'll lose track of what you want and what you don't want.

For me, I lost track. I started doing things I thought I would like only to find out I don't. Following stereotypical likes and dislikes.
I would halfway through reading "the perfume" only to notice, I'm not really paying attention, I'm not even enjoying this book, but somehow I feel like I have to finish it. Why? And I justify a reason to read a book I have no interest in reading.
The same goes for relationships. I have fewer friends than I thought. And it's not because we got into a fight or, we don't have things in common or don't share love or whatever. It's because I don't want to be friends with them because I don't share their values. It's not something I love, therefore, bitch bye.
Coffee... Sometimes I love coffee. Sometimes it's horrible. And I still drink it. I still power through it. It's not that bad.

Why do we choose to live this way? We choose to think that it's not that bad. But aren't we the result of millions of years of evolution? Aren't we a miracle? Aren't we being ungrateful to life itself by not making the most out of it?

Think back. How many times have you said:"meh, ok"? How many times have you done the opposite of what you truly believed because someone or something pressured you into it? How many times have you gone against your gut because something triggers a different answer? These triggers are peer pressure, guilt, shame, fear, etc.
What would you do differently if you were released from these bags?

Comentarios

Publicar un comentario

Your opinion is always welcome. This is your space...

Entradas populares de este blog

Let's talk about addiction: First step

-
Addiction is a mental illness.  It has all the characteristics of a mental illness along with being a tabu subject, and therefore a hidden conversation between families and friends. These posts regarding addiction urge to raise awareness and understanding of the process of AA, common behaviors and personality traits of addicts.  STEP ONE "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or whatever poison you chose)- that our lives had become unmanageable" As any bibble, in any religion,  AA literature has been misconstructed into just uttering the words "hey, I'm an addict", as if just nodding to the problem was enough. For now let's stay in the first step which, surprise, my friends: this is way deeper, that's why it's the hardest one. You must admit complete defeat and surrender. Compared to admitting bankruptcy, you have to look in the mirror and say "I don't have more power, more will. I've lost all self-sufficiency and stre
Leer más

How do you get where you want to go?

-
DISCLAIMER: THIS GUIDE IS EXTREMELY THOROUGH AND WILL BRING UP FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND EVEN PHYSICAL SENSATIONS. TAKE TIME TO COMPLETE IT AND SEEK A THERAPIST IF YOU CONSIDER IT NECESSARY. MAKE A SPACE TO MEDITATE YOUR ANSWERS AND A SPACE TO REST AFTER.  Self-awareness in this day and age is vital. It is the essence of your individuality. It is what makes you competitive in work or school, it's what makes you who you are. Adolescence is an important stage because it's when kids start to question their parents, their ways of thinking and start forming their own selves. However, some people never find themselves or lose themselves seeking external validation, social approval or because of other triggers like fear or guilt. This is the fourth part of the self-awareness questionnaires, to review the previous ones click on 1 , 2 , 3 . These questionnaires are designed to help you increase your self-awareness and your quality of life. We have defined who you are and where you wa
Leer más

Money, money, money

-
Have you given a hard and honest look at those things that surround you? Do you like them? Or more importantly, did you choose them?  It's never too late to analyze where we are standing in order to redefine our course. Amazingly I found a wonderful life coach that actually shares content that goes deeper than "trust your inner you" and "listen to the universe". Here´s the seventh dive into  Kathy Caprino 's  9 crucial life lessons to learn before midlife . 7. HEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY AND DON'T POISON YOURSELF WITH IT. Song: money makes the world go around - Liza Minnelli Let's do this as a psychologist would: Tell me about your childhood? My relationship with money is complicated. My grandfather had money while my mom was in university: credit cards, car, clothes, expensive university. Plus, she lived in a city where appearances matter a lot, where having is more important than being. She took pride in it. She enjoyed it. Who
Leer más

Blaming your parents

-
Last week I lost it. I've been calling out all the people who wronged me both internally and externally, as a way of liberating myself from some rotten resentment and anger, including my parents. My mom said those repeated and misunderstood words: "You're an adult, at some point, you have to stop blaming your parents." I have so many issues with this, I don't even know where to begin. ... Yes, I do: First of all, culturally, we tend to overestimate willpower.  Let's say I want to start a workout routine and just fill my head with cheap motivation from youtube, and don't really inform myself in how to personalize it: how to exercise for my body type, how to eat properly, sleep and gradually adapt those changes into my lifestyle. We tend to think willpower is simple. You just need to stay focused, you need to not be a quitter. You just need to be strong, dedicated, get your head in the game, focus on the finish line. Sometimes our minds, their ro
Leer más

Where do you want to go?

-
DISCLAIMER: THIS GUIDE IS EXTREMELY THOROUGH AND WILL BRING UP FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND EVEN PHYSICAL SENSATIONS. TAKE TIME TO COMPLETE IT AND SEEK A THERAPIST IF YOU CONSIDER IT NECESSARY. IT DOES NOT REPLACE ANY KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL AID. MAKE A SPACE TO MEDITATE YOUR ANSWERS AND A SPACE TO REST AFTER.  Self-awareness in this day and age is vital. It is the essence of your individuality. This is important because it is what makes you competitive in work or school, it's what makes you who you are. Adolescence is an important stage because it's when kids start to question their parents, their ways of thinking and start forming their own selves. However, some people never find themselves or lose themselves seeking external validation, social approval or because of other triggers like fear or guilt. “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. 'I don't much care where
Leer más