Release pain

Have you given a hard and honest look at those things that surround you? Do you like them? Or more importantly, did you choose them? 

It's never too late to analyze where we are standing in order to redefine our course. Amazingly I found a wonderful life coach that actually shares content that goes deeper than "trust your inner you" and "listen to the universe".


Here´s the eighth dive into Kathy Caprino's 9 crucial life lessons to learn before midlife.

9. LET GO OF PAIN, ANGER, AND RESENTMENT

"Life is full of incredibly hard bumps that can leave us broken and bloodied. But life can also be so very stunningly beautiful, shining and radiant that you’re brought to your knees with amazing gratitude and humility at the sheer beauty and wonder of it."

I think this is a dangerous statement because of the western obsession with happiness. We tend to see "negative" feelings as something wrong, something that needs to be fixed. We must understand that those negative feelings are as an important part of life as "good feelings", and sometimes, our bodies need to feel them.Truth is that the only constant in life is change itself. We will break. We will fall. It will hurt. However, it's important to allow these feelings to flow through. 

"I’ve learned that it’s a choice –to be either consumed with the terrible pain and anger, to find a way to heal and release it. To stay stuck, drowning in the poison of hate and devastated dreams, or to find it in your heart to forgive, see your part in it, let go, and move on to keep building a meaningful and rewarding life.I’ve learned that holding onto the pain and anger misses the whole point of living. We didn’t come here, to this planet at this time, to spend our entire life here in a state of rage and disillusionment. We came here to learn, grow and thrive.

Allowing yourself to feel is a basic in emotional intelligence. Feeling hurt, feeling pain doesn't mean holding onto those feelings forever. I disagree with Kathy. Maybe we're talking about different things. I think it's important to feel pain and anger, I believe those feelings have a function; they mean that you have to stop (or ask someone to stop) they're supposed to be a boundary for you. Although I agree with not staying stuck forever, we do have an obsession with emotional productivity: you have the feeling and you fix it. So, now, just allowing it to flow naturally, 

So, what pain and anger are you hanging onto that you need to release? 
I need to release and work through the anger, pain, and resentment I feel towards my loved ones and family members. I haven't been able to set emotional boundaries with them. I've turned bitter, passive-aggressive and mean towards them out of old feelings that have been curled up inside me, and need to be felt. 

Releasing pain is much more complicated, I think it should start with consciously allowing yourself to remove the blocks of guilt or shame that doesn't let you feel the pain. 
Example: my mom is a devoted workaholic because "she works so hard to help us move on, finish uni, blah blah". I used to put everything under the carpet and pretend my feelings weren't important enough to make her "go through them". LIE: I was ashamed and guilty. I didn't want to be ungrateful. I didn't want her to feel unloved. But, beautiful souls, one thing isn't excluding the other. You can be angry and love someone very much at the same time. It's a matter of understanding those feelings and allowing them to happen...

Previous