Midnigh rant: productivity obsession

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More.
We always want more.
More money, more friends, be more, do more.
But we forget something very important.
Every more is a less.
Easy to explain: More of some priority equals less of another.
So we must choose wisely.
What do we truly want more of?

"2018 will be my bitch." And I filled my schedule with things I needed to get done.
More exercise, healthier eating, more water, more love, more authenticity, to be bolder, more organization, more clarity... Yes, all that. And more, but I also want less. I actually want less money. Fewer people around me. Less noise and fewer distractions. I want less partying.

This year, I want clarity. The thing is, to achieve it, to have it. I must give up so many things. Some will hurt. Some won't. And some will just confuse me. In the midst of giving up these things, hoping for something better to come along, I'm assuming I won't feel anything like clarity. I'm guessing it'll be like stepping into the thickest mud.

Today, I feel stuck in the mud. I already had one panic attack and I have been up for two hours. Today, I'm scared and I feel trapped inside my own mind. Today, I can't handle the noise and I'm exhausted...
But that is today, and it will end.

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