Midnigh rant: productivity obsession

-
More.
We always want more.
More money, more friends, be more, do more.
But we forget something very important.
Every more is a less.
Easy to explain: More of some priority equals less of another.
So we must choose wisely.
What do we truly want more of?

"2018 will be my bitch." And I filled my schedule with things I needed to get done.
More exercise, healthier eating, more water, more love, more authenticity, to be bolder, more organization, more clarity... Yes, all that. And more, but I also want less. I actually want less money. Fewer people around me. Less noise and fewer distractions. I want less partying.

This year, I want clarity. The thing is, to achieve it, to have it. I must give up so many things. Some will hurt. Some won't. And some will just confuse me. In the midst of giving up these things, hoping for something better to come along, I'm assuming I won't feel anything like clarity. I'm guessing it'll be like stepping into the thickest mud.

Today, I feel stuck in the mud. I already had one panic attack and I have been up for two hours. Today, I'm scared and I feel trapped inside my own mind. Today, I can't handle the noise and I'm exhausted...
But that is today, and it will end.

Comentarios

Publicar un comentario

Your opinion is always welcome. This is your space...

Entradas populares de este blog

Let's talk about addiction: First step

-
Addiction is a mental illness.  It has all the characteristics of a mental illness along with being a tabu subject, and therefore a hidden conversation between families and friends. These posts regarding addiction urge to raise awareness and understanding of the process of AA, common behaviors and personality traits of addicts.  STEP ONE "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or whatever poison you chose)- that our lives had become unmanageable" As any bibble, in any religion,  AA literature has been misconstructed into just uttering the words "hey, I'm an addict", as if just nodding to the problem was enough. For now let's stay in the first step which, surprise, my friends: this is way deeper, that's why it's the hardest one. You must admit complete defeat and surrender. Compared to admitting bankruptcy, you have to look in the mirror and say "I don't have more power, more will. I've lost all self-sufficiency and stre
Leer más

Who are you?

-
DISCLAIMER: THIS GUIDE IS EXTREMELY THOROUGH AND WILL BRING UP FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND EVEN PHYSICAL SENSATIONS. TAKE TIME TO COMPLETE IT AND SEEK A THERAPIST IF YOU CONSIDER IT NECESSARY. IT DOES NOT REPLACE ANY KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL AID. MAKE A SPACE TO MEDITATE YOUR ANSWERS AND A SPACE TO REST AFTER. Self-awareness in this day and age is vital. It is the essence of your individuality. This is important because it is what makes you competitive in work or school, it's what makes you who you are. Adolescence is an important stage because it's when kids start to question their parents, their ways of thinking and start forming their own selves. However, some people never find themselves or lose themselves seeking external validation, social approval or because of other triggers like fear or guilt. This is the second part of the self-awareness questionnaire, where we'll talk about who you are today. You might find incongruencies in what you thought about you and what you
Leer más

How do you get where you want to go?

-
DISCLAIMER: THIS GUIDE IS EXTREMELY THOROUGH AND WILL BRING UP FEELINGS, EMOTIONS, AND EVEN PHYSICAL SENSATIONS. TAKE TIME TO COMPLETE IT AND SEEK A THERAPIST IF YOU CONSIDER IT NECESSARY. MAKE A SPACE TO MEDITATE YOUR ANSWERS AND A SPACE TO REST AFTER.  Self-awareness in this day and age is vital. It is the essence of your individuality. It is what makes you competitive in work or school, it's what makes you who you are. Adolescence is an important stage because it's when kids start to question their parents, their ways of thinking and start forming their own selves. However, some people never find themselves or lose themselves seeking external validation, social approval or because of other triggers like fear or guilt. This is the fourth part of the self-awareness questionnaires, to review the previous ones click on 1 , 2 , 3 . These questionnaires are designed to help you increase your self-awareness and your quality of life. We have defined who you are and where you wa
Leer más

Money, money, money

-
Have you given a hard and honest look at those things that surround you? Do you like them? Or more importantly, did you choose them?  It's never too late to analyze where we are standing in order to redefine our course. Amazingly I found a wonderful life coach that actually shares content that goes deeper than "trust your inner you" and "listen to the universe". Here´s the seventh dive into  Kathy Caprino 's  9 crucial life lessons to learn before midlife . 7. HEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY AND DON'T POISON YOURSELF WITH IT. Song: money makes the world go around - Liza Minnelli Let's do this as a psychologist would: Tell me about your childhood? My relationship with money is complicated. My grandfather had money while my mom was in university: credit cards, car, clothes, expensive university. Plus, she lived in a city where appearances matter a lot, where having is more important than being. She took pride in it. She enjoyed it. Who
Leer más

Midnight rant: Kill the cow

-
Sometimes I can't sleep and I write unfiltered unedited stuff that pop in my mind; I call these creativity and energy peaks: midnight rants. Tonight, I can't sleep. A common thing in rehab was the use of stories and tales to help us relate to different perspectives. I remember one time, my personal psychologist was telling me one: One day, a man took his son on a trip, they walked and walked until they found a little cabin in the woods. It was dirty, small, almost looked abandoned. It was getting dark and they needed to find somewhere to sleep.  The man knocked on the door and a beautiful lady with tired eyes answered.  -My son and I have been traveling all day. We are very tired, I was hoping you would allow us to stay the night and we'll be on our way tomorrow.- He asked.  -Well, I live alone with my daughter, we're very poor and don't have much space, so you'll have to sleep on the floor, but we'll manage. Come in. They walked into the li
Leer más